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Pearl vs. Katara
Description "Steven Universe vs. Avatar: The Last Airbender! Which warrior-woman worry-wart will win?" Introduction Spider: Among American cartoons, few series have received the levels of critical praise as Steven Universe ''and ''Avatar: The Last Airbender. Both shows stars tight-knit groups of well-developed characters who fill specific roles. Pixie: And in each group, there is a character whose role is to worry about absolutely everything, non-stop. But despite the fact that these two are basically the designated nannies of their teams, that doesn’t stop them from kicking ass. Pearl, the Gay Space Rock. Spider: And Katara, the last Water-bender on the South Pole. I’m Spider. Pixie: And I’m Pixie! Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Pearl Spider: Thousands of years ago, an alien race known as the Gems plotted to conquer the Earth. They were stopped by the Gem called Rose Quartz, who, driven by her sympathy for humanity, led a rebellion against the Gems. The survivors of the Gem War remained on Earth to serve as the planet’s gaurdians, the Crystal Gems. Pixie singing: They… are the Crystal Gems. They’ll always sa— Spider: Please don’t. I don’t want that theme song stuck in my head for the next twelve hours. Pixie: Due to some kind of magical existence paradox I won’t even pretend to understand, Rose Quartz died giving birth to a half-human half-Gem child named Steven Universe. Steven was placed into the hands of Rose’s allies, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. Spider: Like all the Crystal Gems, Pearl struggled to adapt to the role of parenthood while grieving the loss of Rose Quartz. Pixie: She also had to balance family life with continuing to protect humanity from the Gems, as well as tracking down and capturing monstrous corrupted Gems and storing them safely until a cure could be discovered. So yeah, Pearl’s got a pretty hectic schedule. Thankfully, she’s got some serious combat skills to deal with deadliest threats in the Universe. Spider: Pearl is trained with both the spear and the saber, and has thousands of years of combat experience and training. She can create new weapons at will, and is capable of duel-wielding. While Pearl is not as strong or durable as her friend Garnet, she makes up for her lack of raw power with an acrobatic, ballet-inspired fighting style. She is adept at evading foes, and is even capable of dodging attacks with her eyes closed. Even if a foe manages to catch her off-guard, Pearl is extremely resilient. She has shrugged off hits from Amethyst, who can effortlessly slice through a steel dumpster with her whip, and Sugilite, who can easily shatter stone pillars at least twelve times as thick as Pearl’s body in diameter. Pixie: Oh, and those pillars were also made of a stone so hard that Amethyst’s best blows could barely even chip them. So clearly, Pearl’s body is waaay ''harder than typical stones and metals. Even if her body is badly damaged, she can grow a new one as long as her pearl remains intact… though it usually takes her a couple of weeks. Spider: Pearl’s blades are capable of slicing through metal and stone with ease. Even unarmed, she’s strong enough to shatter chunks of rock nearly as big as herself with a single kick. Pixie: So much for being the “wimpy but smart” member of the group. Spider: At long-range, Pearl can attack by throwing her spear, or by firing energy blasts, either in rapid bursts or as single, explosive shots. She is also capable of projecting holograms from the pearl in her forehead. Unlike typical holograms, Pearls can make these projections solid. She can create copies of herself, and has even created fully-functioning, holographic replicas of herself to use as sparring partners. Pixie: Speaking of creating stuff, Pearl is a mechanical genius. She fixed a van that had been seemingly totaled in a day, even though she knew almost nothing about human machinery. She also built a functional jet engine in a barn from random scraps, a bit like a certain drunken, lecherous superhero in a red and yellow robot suit. Spider: Pearl’s intelligence extends to combat tactics. She is capable of outsmarting and outmaneuvering foes who vastly outclass her in power and durability, as seen in her fight with Sugilite. Pixie: She’s also got a great singing voice, and can perform an interpretive dance so amazing that it summons a roll of police tape from her forehead! Somehow! Also, she can fuse with other Gems to become bigger, stronger gems, but that’s outside help, so she’s not allowed to do any fusions in this battle. Spider: Despite her many talents and skills, Pearl has her weak-points, her most obvious being her emotional fragility. Pixie: The rock-lady needs a shrink, plain and simple. Spider: Pearl is obsessed with details and is easily flustered when things don’t go here way. She can also become obsessed with a goal or objective and become reckless in her determination to meet that goal. Pixie: Like the time she decided that she needed to show Steven space, even if that meant flying a rapidly-deteriorating home-made space-ship that exploded before it even left the atmosphere. Spider: Specially designed weaponry and technology, such as Jasper’s Gem Destabilizer, can easily destroy her body. She can also be a bit smug and condescending towards humans, though she does show respect and kinship for a few, such as Steven’s friend Connie. Pixie: For a skinny, neurotic ballerina, Pearl is one hell of a warrior. from Steven Universe. Pearl: You’re no match for me! Not even close! Katara Spider: Long ago, the four nations lived in peace. But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Pixie: Yeah, yeah, we’ve seen the meme. Get to Magic Water Eskimo Chick already! Spider: It isn’t magic, it’s water-bending. And the proper term is Inuit. Under the rule of Fire Lord Ozai, the Fire Nation began the systematic genocide of the other three peoples of their world. Among the many casualties were the Water-Benders of the Southern Water Tribe, save for one. Pixie: Hold up a sec. Are you telling me that this is a children’s show… about ''genocide? Spider: Among other things. Katara was the last water-bender in her tribe. When the Fire Nation came to take her, Katara’s mother claimed to be the last water-bender, thus taking Katara’s place sacrificing herself to save her daughter’s life. Pixie: The good news is, it worked. The bad news is, Katara was left alone with no family but her brother and grandmother, and nobody to teach her how to use her water-bending. The worse news is, the only person capable of stopping the Fire Nation and restoring balance to the world was the Avatar, who had vanished before the war began, around a hundred years ago. Through a not even slightly contrived coincidence, the last Southern Tribe Water-bender alive discovered the last Air-bender alive, who was also the Avatar. Spider: Katara discovered that Aang, the Avatar, had spent one hundred years frozen in an iceberg. Pixie: Could you please explain how Aang survived being frozen alive? Spider: Anime physics, Pixie. Anime physics. According to legend, it was Aang’s destiny to master all four of the elements. To that end, Aang and Katara left for the North Pole, where they hoped to find Katara a water-bending tutor. Pixie: After convincing Aang’s sexist, douchey Water-bending master to teach her, Katara fulfilled her dreams of becoming a water-bending master, and went on to help save the world and marry the Avatar. Because she wasn’t done being freaking awesome yet, Katara later became a founder of Republic City, and one of the greatest healers in the world, to the point that there are statues of Katara outside every hospital in Republic City. Quite a way to be remembered. Spider: Katara fights with Water-bending, a unique form of hydrokinesis modeled off of Tai Chi. With this art, Katara can shift fluidly between defensive movements and offensive ones. Pixie: Fluidly. Water. Fluid. Ha. I see what you did there. Spider: She can shoot blasts of water at foes or summons walls of water to block incoming attacks. She is also capable of forming her water into blades… somehow… which can easily slice through wood, and can even be used to cut steel over time. She is also a master of the Octopus stance, which allows her to form eight whips of water at once. Pixie: She can also turn water into ice and ice into water at will, vastly expanding her range of abilities. She can create defensive walls of ice, hurl razor-sharp discs of ice like shuriken, or provide instant ice-cubes when your freezer goes out. Spider: Of course, those are all standard Water-bending abilities. Katara also has two abilities that are very rare among Water-benders, the first being her healing powers. By moving water infused with her chi over wounds such as burns or cuts, she can heal them almost instantly. At one point, she had a vial of spirit water that could heal seemingly any wound, including scars and severe electrocution— Pixie: Buuut, she used the last drop saving Aang’s life after Azula almost lightning’d him to death. So no more spirit water. Spider: Katara also possesses the technique known as Blood-bending, one of the most terrifying and powerful forms of bending in the Avatar universe. It allows Katara to control the water in a person’s blood, essentially turned them into her puppet. However, Katara can only use Blood-bending under a full moon, and even then, she hates the technique and almost never uses it. Pixie: She’s also pretty intelligent and clever. After being locked in a wooden cell without any water, Katara figured out that she could escape by bending the water in her own sweat. She’s also used effective speeches to rally the spirits of imprisoned Earth-benders, and successfully disguised herself as Aang’s mother… which is actually pretty creepy if you think about it for more than half a second. Apparently, genocide wasn’t edgy enough for a children’s show, so they had to throw in an Oedipus Complex vibe. How exactly did Nick get away with this, again? Spider: Beats me. Pixie: Katara has pulled off plenty of cool stuff during her adventures. She has repeatedly defeated experienced Fire Nations soliders before completing her training, held her own against Master Paccu during a spar, and defeated Zuko in a fight that lasted less than ten seconds. Spider: Katara does have her weak-points, however. Her most obvious flaw is that her fighting style depends entirely on water, so if there’s no water around for her to use, there’s not a lot she can do. As noted above, she has overcome this handicap by resorting to bending her own sweat, but obviously, the limited volume of water puts a damper on what she can do. Also, since the nature of her bending allows her to strike from a distance, she’s a little unused to fighting up close, as seen repeatedly during her fights with Ty Lee. Pixie: Still, Katara is one badass Water-bender. from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Zuko: Here for a rematch? Katara: Trust me, Zuko, it’s not going to be much of a match. grabs Zuko with snow and slams him into the ground, knocking him unconscious. DEATH BATTLE! Spider: Alright, our combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all. Pixie: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE! * * * A full moon looms high above Republic City. The Crystal Gems move silently down the alleys as they approach their target. Garnet stops in front of a hospital with a large stone statue of a woman in front of it. Garnet stops and adjusts her shades. “We should find the dormant Gem we’re looking for below this statue. About ten feet down or so, in some kind of tunnel below the city.” Steven kneels and looks down at the statues base. “How are we going to get down there?” Pearl clasps her hands. “Right. We’ll need to see if the city has a sewer system of some kind. The technology here is primitive, admittedly, but it’s not too much to hope for. After that, we’ll make our way underground, and—” Amethyst yawns. “Borrriiing. Come on, it’s right under the dumb statue! Let’s just smash through, grab the Gem and go home!” Pearl glares. “Amethyst, need I remind you how sensitive this mission is? We are dealing with human beings from another time, from another reality. Discovering the existence of Gems could warp their fragile minds in ways I can only begin to—” While Pearl is talking, Garnet summons her gauntlets and smashes the statue of Katara into smithereens. Pearl gasps, appalled, and Amethyst cheers. “Woo-hoo! That’s what I’m talking about!” “G-Garnet!” Pearl blusters. “What on Earth are you doing?” Garnet punches through the ground, forming a hole that drops down to the tunnel below. “According to my future vision, there are two out of three possible outcomes where we break through quickly, grab the gem, and escape the city before anyone catches us.” Pearl squints. “And what happens in the third outcome? A voice from behind makes Pearl, Steven and Amethyst jump. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!” Pearl turns to spot a furious young woman in a blue robe. “That,” Garnet says, pointing at the woman. “That happens.” As Katara advances, Pearl raises her hands and offers a sheepish grin. “Um… sorry about the statue. It was quite a nice likeness of you, actually. It’s uh… unfortunate that it had to be destroyed, but—” Katara blasts Pearl in the face with a jet of water, knocking her head over heels. “This is a hospital!” Katara shouts. “''My'' hospital. You really think you have a good reason for attacking it in the middle of the night!?” Pearl rises, glaring, wipes back her soaking hair, and summons her spear from her forehead. “Keep Steven safe and get to the Gem!” she shouts. “I’ll hold her off for now and meet you back at the Warp Pad.” Steven shoots Pearl a worried look before Garnet grabs him and leaps down the hole into the tunnel, followed shortly by Amethyst. Pearl twirls her spear and takes her fighting stance. “Ugh, you stupid, stupid humans! Why can’t you ever just mind your own business and let us protect you?” Katara’s water-whip flicks menacingly through the air. “You’re here to protect me? Please. I’m the one protecting this city, and I’m going to make you wish you never came here.” FIGHT! ' '''Katara attacks with a flurry of water-whip strikes and jabs, but Pearl parries each attack with her spear while steadily advancing. Katara goes for a descending whip-lash, but Pearl pirouettes out of the way. As Katara’s water-whip smashes into the cobble-stones, Pearl quickly fires a burst of three energy blasts from her spear. Katara swiftly forms her water into a shield, blocking Pearl’s shots, then freezes the shield into block of ice and hurls it at Pearl. The Gem nimbly leaps straight towards the ice-block, meeting it head-on, and shatters it with a single kick. Katara’s eyes widen as Pearl lands amidst a rain of ice shards. Before Pearl can launch another attack, Katara quickly extends a thick tendril of water and completely encases Pearl’s head in water. Pearl blinks and looks out through the water floating around her head, puzzled. The Gem speaks, her voice distorted by the water. “What are you… oh! You’re trying to drown me.” Pearl smiles. “That’s actually quite clever, but I don’t require oxygen to live, so I’m afraid that isn’t going to work.” Katara grits her teeth, annoyed by Pearl’s condescending tone, then twists her hand. The water freezes solid, encasing Pearl’s head in ice. After a moment, Pearl raps on the ice with her knuckles, effortlessly shattering it, then shakes her head, throwing the last particles of ice from her face. Katara takes a step back and begins drawing water from a fountain behind her. She moves her arms around her in intricate circles and shapes the water into eight whips, taking the Octopus stance. Pearl’s expression becomes focused and serious as she puts away her spear and draws her saber. A whip lashes at Pearl’s ankles, but she flips forwards over the attack and slashes through the whip with her saber, scattering it into droplets. The second and third whips stab at Pearl’s face in quick succession, but Pearl deflects both strikes, then dispels both whips with a single slash. The forth whip hits Pearl in the ribs, making her stagger, then the fourth and fifth whips both latch onto Pearl’s sword as Katara strives to rip the weapon out of the Gem’s hands. Pearl struggles against Katara for a moment, then yanks her sword free with so much force, she disrupts the forth and fifth whips. As the sixth whip lashes at Pearl, she slices through it and charges. The seventh whip forms a bladed tip and lashes at Pearl’s cheek, inflicting a small scratch, but Pearl bares the pain, cut the whip down with a horizontal slash and fires a spin-kick at Katara’s chest. Katara barely has time to shift her final whip into a shield before the blow strikes. Katara’s water cushions the impact, but the kick still lands with enough force to throw her backwards. The young-water bender trips over the edge of the fountain and lands in the water with a loud splash. Pearl puts her saber behind her head and taps her foot, looking smug. “Are you satisfied yet?” Katara pushes back her wet, messy hair, and gives a furious glare. “I didn’t want to do this… but you’ve pushed me too far!” Her gaze locked on Pearl, Katara thrust out her hands and spreads them a puppeteer working a pair of marionettes… absolutely nothing happens. Katara glances down at her hands, then tries the motion again, then again. Pearl cocks her head, confused. “Is this some kind of a traditional war-dance among humans?” Frustrated, Katara gives up on using Blood-bending and strikes Pearl with a flood of water from the fountain, knocking her flat. Katara seizes Pearl in a watery grip, slams her against the side of a building, then slams her into the ground and hurls her away. Pearl grunts in pain as she tumbles across the stones. Katara begins forming water from the fountain into a large pillar, increasing its height and thickness as she continues to pile the water up. Pearl struggles to her feet, then quickly pulls another spear out of her head and begins to charge energy. Katara lets the pillar drop, then redirects the water, using the gravity to build momentum. She swirls the massive stream of water around her body once, then launches it at Pearl as a miniature tidal wave. Pearl fires a powerful blast of energy from her spear just as the wave rushes towards her. The attacks collide and the wave explodes in a massive cloud of steam, hurling both combatants backwards. Katara stands up and squints, trying to spot Pearl through the steam. Annoyed, she spreads her hands, willing the steam to part. As the cloud begins to disperse, Katara spots Pearl standing before her, armed with a saber. The moonlight reflects off the water on the ground, bathing both combatants in a bluish light. Once again, Katara draws water from the fountain and forms a pair of water-whips. “It’s time to end this. Once and for all.” Pearl stares blankly at Katara. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO DUEL!?” Pearl blares. Katara frowns. “What do you mean duel? We’re… already fighting.” “NEW CHALLENGER DETECTED! BEGINNING TRAINING MODE, LEVEL ZERO!” Katara squints, utterly baffled. “What are you talking abou—” A slender pair of hands seize Katara’s neck from behind. The Holo-Pearl in front of Katara flickers out of existence as the real Pearl lifts Katara off the ground, strangling her. Pearl’s hair is disheveled, her face is dirty and scarred, and her eyes blaze in an expression of homicidal rage. Katara gags and tugs at Pearl’s hands, but the Gem’s grip is stronger than a steel vice, and Katara cannot budge her hands. Katara’s face begins turning red as Pearl keeps her grip tight on the arteries on Katara’s neck, pinching shut the flow of blood to the brain. Katara’s extremities start going numb, and her vision begins fading to black. Suddenly, Pearl’s expression shifts, moving from rage to remorse. “Rose… what am I doing?” Pearl immediately releases Katara, and the young-bender collapses forwards, gasping and wheezing, but alive. Pearl lowers her eyes. “This isn’t what she would have wanted,” Pearl murmurs. “She loved you, all you. She asked us to protect you… and I’ll honor that wish, no matter what it costs me.” As Katara begins to recover and stand up, Pearl rests her hands on Katara’s shoulders. “We’re going to stop fighting now,” Pearl says, smiling sweetly, “because if we don’t, you’re going to die horrifically and then I’m going to feel bad about it. Okay?” Katara nods, her mouth tight with fear and pain as she rubs her throat. '''K.O!' Pearl clasps her hands together. “Wonderful. I really enjoyed the spar session. Maybe we can do it again sometime?” Katara coughs and shakes her head. “I think I’ll pass.” As Pearl begins running off towards the Warp Pad, she looks over her shoulder and gives a last wave. “Good-bye! And sorry again about the statue.” As Pearl leaves to rejoin the Crystal Gems, Katara limps back into the hospital to get some first aid. Post-Battle Analysis Pixie: Yeah, the Gay Space Rock wins! Eat it, heteronormativity! Spider: While Katara’s powers were more versatile than Pearl’s, particularly at long-range, Pearl had a notable advantage in nearly every category. Katara’s durability is about the same as an average human, while Pearl can shrug off impacts that would reduce Katara to a thin, red paste. In terms of physical strength well… Katara’s a human, Pearl can casually shatter rocks with a single kick. Katara is fairly intelligent and creative, but Pearl built a space-ship from scraps in a day and has thousands of years of fighting experience. While Katara may have been able to match Pearl’s destructive force while her bending was boosted by a full moon, Pearl’s durability let her survive more than a few hits from Katara, while the same could not be said of the young water-bender. Pixie: Katara’s use of water and ice-shields helped to cover her lack of durability, but considering that Pearl’s spear can cleave steel with ease, there’s no doubt Pearl would quickly cut through any defense Katara whipped up. Katara’s healing abilities were also a little less than useful. Yeah, she could heal from minor injuries, but Pearl’s strength and cutting power meant that a single clean melee blow could have easily sliced Katara in half, and that’s not something healing could have fixed. Spider: Pearl is also far more agile than Katara, and her natural grace and mobility made it far easier for her to get into melee range with Katara. Her energy blasts let her hold her ground against Katara at long range, so even keeping Pearl at a distance wouldn’t have guaranteed Katara a victory. Pixie: Pearl’s Gem physiology also made her immune to Katara’s best hax. She couldn’t drown Pearl, since Pearl doesn’t need to breathe, and she couldn’t use Blood-bending because… well… Pearl doesn’t have any blood. We know this, because she was once impaled through the chest during a training accident, and nothing came out. Spider: Pearl’s clever use of holograms gave her the means to a momentary distraction, and that was all she needed to shut Katara down and put the fight to an end. Pixie: Pearl’s strength just took Katara’s breath away. Spider: The winner is— Pixie: Bird Mom! Spider: …Pearl. The winner is Pearl. Next time, on Death Battle! ???: Three, two one, KILL SHOT! ???: Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight, she is...Category:What-If? 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